WHEN the author contacted Classic Angling about carrying a review of his book, we were piqued by his summary of the contents. He wrote: “It covers methods and tackle from porcupine quills to hair rigs. It is also a tribute to lasting friendships, I’m still in daily contact with my best fishing mate of 68 years, even though we live 10,000 miles apart.”

It sounded interesting, especially when, only a few pages in, you learn that he went to school with Eric Clapton and often walked home with him. Alas, the promise wasn’t fulfilled. Eric never reappeared, and Symes’ book illustrates vividly the pitfalls of self- publishing, where friends say: “You’ve got such good stories, you should write a book.” Most of us don’t. Ian Symes made a fatal mistake and believed them.

A lesson for all would-be authors here: you need enough content to sustain the interest of readers who don’t know you, your friends, your life.Without that, a book is only dead trees.And Symes doesn’t seem clear about who his target market is. For example, he explains terms like the lift method and translates Aussie expressions from his time in the country such as mozzies, roo and fair dinkum.Think most readers wouldn’t have too much trouble understanding those.

Sadly, it’s vanity publishing: tales of me and my fishing life with my mates.The stories, with a few exceptions, aren’t strong enough to sustain a book. even if you once fished the lower Thames, or took angling holidays in Ireland.And key characters are mere outlines.

The other downside is that the photographs remind me of my early box Brownie snapshots: low resolution and mostly out of focus; people’s heads cut off, only half the fish in the frame.

On the plus side, I reckon someone has done a decent editing job on it, with few grammar or spelling mistakes, normally a typical feature of self-published works.

There is one sentence that scarcely encourages you to dash out and buy a copy, though. It’s a throwaway line where he talks about scaring swans away in his youth. “I certainly wouldn’t do it now and find fishing itself, to be honest, slightly cruel.” Make of that what you will.

DP